I'm Only Here for the Beard Read online

  But caring about someone and being in love were two different things, and I needed to realize that or I’d lose myself.

  Ellen snapped her mouth shut and nodded once.

  And without another word, I walked out and didn’t look back.

  Chapter 1

  Women do not want to hear an apology while your penis is still inside their sister. Take it out first.

  -Pro Tip

  Sean

  I rode my bike up to the spot where I usually parked and cursed when I went to turn in because a car was parked there.

  “What the fuck?” I grunted behind my helmet. “That’s my spot.”

  Okay, it wasn’t actually my spot, but I’d been parking there for the last four years, each and every time I came to work.

  Placing both feet onto the ground, I walked the bike backward and put it into the spot across from my usual and shut it off.

  My helmet was the next thing to go, and I sighed when the open wind hit my overheated face.

  Fuck, it was hot for the last day of October!

  Shouldn’t it be cooler already?

  “Workin’ out today?” a colleague, Randa McCullen, asked as she started walking toward her car.

  I looked over at Randa, the basic EMT, and nodded. “Already done.”

  She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Figures.”

  Then she walked straight to her car. Once there, she got in, waved goodbye, and closed the door before backing out of the spot and rocketing out of the parking lot.

  I guess that meant she was ready to go.

  Certainly would’ve wished I was leaving instead of just arriving.

  Though, that was my usual lately.

  I was working too much. The station I was working in for Allegiance Health was short staffed, and they mandated that every able-bodied paramedic had to work overtime whether they wanted to or not.

  The only good thing I could say about my shift was that they ran a double medic truck instead of a single medic and a basic EMT. Otherwise I’d be so fuckin’ tired from doing everything on every call while I was on shift that it’d be nearly impossible to hold down a job here.

  Though, the pay was better than most.

  Although, that wasn’t saying much seeing as I made about four bucks over minimum wage, and I was working my ass off for it.

  Every time I arrived for my shift, I couldn’t come up with a single reason why I was doing this fucking job.

  But get me in the back of an ambulance, and I forgot that my job sucked for the hour that it took to take the call.

  I walked into the door of the station, and my eyes immediately honed in on the heart-shaped ass in a pair of the company’s tactical pants swaying back and forth in front of the counter that divided the kitchen and the living area.

  I closed the door a little harder than necessary in my surprise at seeing that ass, and winced when she turned around, her hand flying to her chest as if I’d startled her.

  Which, I supposed that I did.

  “Hi,” I murmured.

  The woman was short. Really short. Though, that didn’t mean much when I was six foot four inches.

  She had a head of blonde curly hair that was stuffed into a bun at the top of her head. A teal band was tied around her head to keep her curls out of her eyes—eyes that were so freakin’ captivating that I wanted to blurt out an ‘are they real?’ to her.

  She looked very standoffish, though, so I decided to wait to bombard her with questions until she at least knew me.

  I was an intimidating guy. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

  People who knew me, though, knew that I wasn’t going to hurt them.

  Unless they deserved otherwise.

  The woman smiled at me, but didn’t offer me a ‘hello’ in return.

  I walked inside and headed to my room, stopping when I saw that my room had already been taken.

  “You’re gonna have to move your shit,” I told the woman over my shoulder. “This is my room.”

  The swift inhalation of breath had me turning.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “That woman that just left, Randa, told me that this room was free.”

  She had a husky voice. One that instantly had me wanting to hear her whispering dirty words to me in the darkness of my bedroom.

  “Randa’s a bitch,” I growled. “She likes to fuck with people because she thinks she’s funny, but she’s not.”

  The woman brushed past me, and I groaned at the smell of apples and cinnamon that wafted off of her.

  Either she’d just eaten something or she had a lotion that smelled like heaven. Either way, I wanted to smell more.

  She’d probably feel great…

  Jesus fuck, that was the last thing I needed.

  After Ellen had ripped my heart out three months ago, I couldn’t do the dating thing again. At least not yet. Not after all the shit she’d put me through.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket and I winced.

  It was either Memphis or Ellen, and I didn’t want to speak to either one of them at this point.

  They were both concerned with my well-being. Whether I was coping well with the break up.

  They were both good friends now, but I couldn’t complain to Memphis, my childhood best friend, without wondering whether Memphis would be on my side or not.

  So I chose not to talk to either one of them.

  “I knew someone was in here. I should’ve gone with my gut,” the woman muttered under her breath. “Thank you for not freakin’ out.”

  My brows rose. “I wouldn’t freak out over something so trivial,” I informed her. “Now steal my cookies that I brought for dinner and I can’t make that same promise.”

  She graced me with a smile and I forgot how to breathe.

  She really was beautiful, even in the ugly white shirt that Allegiance made us wear.

  It looked like it swallowed her whole, and I wondered if the one she was wearing was donated like my first one had been. At least her pants looked new.

  The company was slowly transitioning to blue tops and blue bottoms with a white reflective stripe down the sides.

  And fuck, but what looked butt ass ugly on most women, she filled out like a goddamned wet dream.

  Even her little tactical boots were cute. I didn’t realize that women’s feet came in such a small size. Was she even in adult footwear?

  “Can you even lift a person?” I found myself asking.

  She froze, turned to face me and nodded her head. Her hands were wrapped around all of her things that she was hastily shoving back into her bag, and I nearly laughed at how pissy she looked.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re tiny. I was curious.” I held my hands up, dropped my backpack to the ground and walked back to the living room where I parked my ass in my favorite chair right in front of the TV.

  It took her ten more minutes of moving her things before she joined me, and by the time she sat on the couch I was curious if she had something against men. She kept staring at me like I was going to jump up and bite her.

  I flipped to my favorite station and had just put my hands up behind my head when the tones dropped.

  Every fucking time.

  Get comfortable? Tones drop.

  Taking a shit? Tones drop.

  Getting gas? Tones drop.

  Eating out? Tones drop.

  Sighing, I slowly let the foot of the recliner down and walked behind the woman who was about ten steps in front of me.

  She was in the passenger seat of the medic when I got there and I smiled.

  I did not ride in the passenger seat if I wasn’t in the back. I hated it. Not having control of the wheel literally drove me fucking nuts.

  That’d also been why I’d requested this particular shift with another medic so I wasn’t stepping on any toes with the basics who were usually the ones to drive.

  “Do you want to take
lead?” I asked.

  She looked at me and nodded, pressing the button that let our dispatch know that we were in the medic and on our way.

  Okay then.

  Did she speak at all? I wasn’t sure.

  Thirty minutes later, I secretly thanked the good lord above that she’d volunteered to take the call.

  I turned the sirens on and accelerated slowly, being careful not to go too fast in case my partner, Naomi, (I had to get her name from her name badge because she still hadn’t told me) was standing up in the back.

  Which was likely since she was about to catch the baby that was about to fly straight out of the patient’s vagina.

  Maneuvering the streets of Mooresville, I made my way hurriedly to the hospital while still obeying most of the traffic laws.

  I was thanking my lucky stars, too. In the nine and a half years I’d been a paramedic, I had not had to deliver one single baby, and I would hopefully keep it that way.

  “Shit!”

  Uh-oh. That didn’t sound good.

  “Oh, my God. Did I just poop?”

  I winced.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” the father that was riding in the passenger seat responded to his laboring wife. “The doctor said that was normal.” He turned to me and whispered, “That’s normal, right?”

  I barely contained the urge to laugh.

  “Yeah,” I confirmed. “From what I hear, it is normal.”

  The soon to be daddy nodded, comforted by my words, and returned his gaze back behind him.

  Did I relay the amount of relief pouring through me at not having to deliver this child?

  I could do anything.

  Blood, gore, exposed bone. Decapitated heads. Gunshot wounds. Vomit. Piss. Shit. But childbirth? Hell fucking no. That squigged me out.

  As we passed the last street before the turnoff to the hospital, I heard the woman on the cot give an almighty screech, and then a few moments later came Naomi’s ‘you have a baby girl’ as I was pulling into the bay.

  I grinned at the father, who looked as white as a sheet.

  “Ready, Dad?” I asked him.

  He nodded, opened the door, and promptly fell on his face.

  Chapter 2

  The closest I’ve come to double penetration is eating both Little Debbies at the same time.

  -Text from Naomi to Aspen

  Naomi

  Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh my God, oh my God!

  I was shaking. Literally shaking.

  This had been my very first shift without a training medic either hovering at my side or available to ask questions—though, I was sure if I’d run into trouble the sexy man who was my partner would’ve helped.

  Jesus Christ, but a man shouldn’t be as sexy as him. It ought to be illegal, because I couldn’t stop myself from staring at him.

  Surely, I wouldn’t be able to function like this much longer.

  Oh, God. This place was supposed to get me away from hot men, not put me into close quarters with them!

  I washed my hands thoroughly in the sink, splashed water on my face, and then pulled down eight paper towels before roughly scrubbing my face dry.

  Holy shit, I’d just delivered a baby!

  Once I was as composed as I was going to get at this point, I lifted my shirt up and checked out my new reality…at least for the next few months until I could have the surgery that would reverse it.

  Testing to make sure the bag was secure, I sighed and tucked it back under the shirt that I wore to help hold it in place.

  Then I tucked my clean shirt in, shoved my dirty one into a Wal-Mart sack and then deep into the depths of my backpack.

  Once I had the backpack settled on my shoulders, I opened the door and frowned at seeing my partner there, standing with his back to me, staring at someone like his heart was being ripped in half.

  Frowning, I walked up to his side and asked, “What’s wrong?”

  He jerked away from me like I’d scalded him with hot water, then cursed. “Sorry. Nothing is wrong. Why would you say that?”

  The big man was lying to me.

  I knew it with absolute certainty.

  I studied his profile as he returned his gaze across the room. To a woman.

  The woman was in front of the hospital reception desk standing next to a man that looked to be one of the doctors that worked there. She had long brown hair that was French braided down her back, and she was wearing a pencil skirt and a white flowy blouse that was tucked into the top. She had a wide black belt that covered her waistband, and I hated her instantly.

  She was the type of woman who would look good wearing anything.

  She probably wore her hair down to the gym, too.

  “Who is she?” I asked as if he hadn’t just lied to me.

  Sean sighed.

  “An old girlfriend.”

  The emotion that was in those words made my heart hurt for him.

  But not too much.

  The man was drop dead sexy, built like a linebacker with a fucking smile that was so beautiful it hurt my heart to look at it. And that beard. God, a man with a beard was my weakness. It always had been.

  “Your ex is in love with another man,” I felt it prudent to point out.

  He shot me a glare and started walking in the opposite direction of the woman and the man she was trying everything in her power to catch the attention of. Although, the man was trying very hard to ignore her. He’d, of course, seen us standing here. If I had to have my guess, that man was likely a cop and missed nothing.

  “Do you know that man?” I asked Sean’s back as he passed through the exterior sliding door.

  “Yes,” he grunted.

  I hurried after him as his strides became faster.

  I made it to the passenger door of the medic as he put it in reverse.

  For a second there, I was worried he was going to back up and leave before I’d even gotten in, but he surprised me by staying put until I had my ass firmly planted in the seat.

  What he didn’t do was wait for me to put my seatbelt on. He was nearly to the intersection before I’d completely situated myself.

  So, me being me, I blurted out my life story.

  “I’ve fallen in love with four men over the course of my life,” I whispered. “When I was eighteen, I met a man who was four years older than me. We hit it off, got engaged, and then he cheated on me with my sorority sister,” I started. “When I was twenty-two, I met another man who I fell in love with. We were great until we weren’t. He beat the shit out of me. When I was twenty-five, I met another man I adored. We hit it off, then three weeks into our relationship I found out that he was married with four kids.” I steadied my breath. “It took me nearly four years to try again. And when I did, I watched as that man, who has become a very good friend that I never had a chance with, married another woman. So, yeah, you likely have some heartache on the horizon, but it’s not going to hurt forever.”

  Or so I kept telling myself.

  It’d been nearly a year since PD had gotten married to July, and it still burned to see them together. Still made my heart ache so much that it was hard to be around him.

  “My wife left me.”

  I blinked, turned, and stared.

  “What?”

  “Thought she was pregnant, turned out she wasn’t but we had already gotten married. It was stupid. Neither one of us loved the other. We cared for each other, yes, but it wasn’t love. Not even close. She was a confrontational shithead, and it took me weeks to realize that we weren’t going to work out. But I’d planned to try. Then I was deployed and was gone for six months. While I was gone, she really did get pregnant by one of my best friends. Got home to find them making house together, her belly swelling with their child. I’d apparently missed the letter telling me that she wanted a divorce. Though, I’m still wondering if she ever sent it in the first place.”

  I winced.

  “
When was that?” I asked.

  His smile was not pleasant. “Let’s see…that was my first deployment. I was twenty and she was nineteen.”

  I bit my lip and reached for the bar above the door to hold on. “What else?”

  I could sense there was more.

  “At the age of twenty-five, my third deployment, I left a girlfriend behind. Came back home to her shacked up in my house. With another woman.”

  I winced.

  “My fourth deployment, I met another soldier. Her name was Masha. She and I hit it off great. We were dating by the time we were done with that deployment. But as we made plans to meet back up, I hadn’t counted on the fact that she had a husband she planned on leaving for me. I broke up with her and then promised myself I wouldn’t date another woman.”

  I laughed softly. “How’d that work out?”

  “Not well,” he muttered darkly. “I met Ellen a year and a half ago. I fell head over heels in love with her the moment I saw her.”

  “But…”

  He pulled onto the road that led back to the station.

  “But she didn’t love me back,” he answered simply.

  I picked up one of the curls that’d loosened from my bun, and twirled it around my finger as I tried to figure out what to say to that.

  “I’m not going to tell you I’m sorry,” I answered. “I bet you hear enough of that.”

  He sighed.

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I hear it from Ellen. I hear it from my best friend, who became really good friends with Ellen over the time that she and I were together.”

  I felt instantly sorry for him.

  “My best friend married a man who is very good friends with the man that I fell in love with.” I one upped him. “I can’t even talk to her now for fear that it will get back to him. And I not only had to work with him, but I also watched him get married and then have a baby. Not only did I work with him, but we had a lot of the same friends. I saw him, his wife and baby everywhere. Every single party or event.”

  “The woman, Ellen, she’s the sister of one of my brothers.”

  My brows furrowed. “So, she’s a…stepsister?”

  Was that right?

  He snorted. “No. Tommy Tom, Ellen’s brother, and the man you saw standing next to her, isn’t my actual brother. He’s a member of the Dixie Wardens MC with me.”